


Are you with me?

by omgbellamy



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: 5x13, Bellarke, Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Feels, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Full of cheese, Jason could never, Light Angst, Love Confessions, New Planet, Post-Canon, Post-Episode: s05e13 Damocles Part 2, Resolved Argument Prompt Exchange, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, becho mentioned, bellarke talk about their feelings oh wow, but they broken up hehe, eligus three, emotional bellamy, repairing their relationship, soft bellarke, they actually talk, vulnerable clarke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-17
Updated: 2018-08-17
Packaged: 2019-06-28 16:40:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15711183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/omgbellamy/pseuds/omgbellamy
Summary: Bellamy & Clarke just found out about the new planet and are reeling. They have some time alone and finally have a moment to breathe and say everything that the stupid show won't let them say.





	Are you with me?

**Author's Note:**

> So here is my other bellarke fic but for 5x13. What did you guys think of the finale? I liked it, but there was so many things we needed to see like moments between Clarke and Murven and characters talking and MORE BELLARKE. We got baited so hard, so this is my attempt to give us what we deserve since Jason is an ass who won't. Enjoy! Maybe OOC cause i suck at right in character, lol.

Jordan leaves them alone with a good-natured smile. A new planet with two suns. No Earth left to live on. An unknown planet most likely containing other life. They slept for 125 years.

They still gaze at the planet. It’s blindingly beautiful but at the same time, the realisation that they will never set foot on Earth again settles a sad awareness in the pits of their stomachs. It’s too much to take in. Clarke can’t help but worry. Another unknown planet, which means they have to convince over four hundred people to be willing to come down to inhabit the planet, when their whole lives  and their mission was to get back to Earth. The irony is amusing. Clarke’s home of Eden had been destroyed by that psychotic bastard McCreary and now they were back in unfamiliar territory.

She’s not sure who speaks first, but somehow they both come to the conclusion this is the perfect and _only_ time they’ll get to talk alone before they wake everyone to drop the bombshell.

“Clarke.”

“Bellamy.”

They both look at each other, a flicker of humour passing in both pairs of eyes, but it’s gone before they know it.

Clarke walks to lean against the wall and lets out a heavy sigh. “We need to break the news to everyone,” she says. She taps her foot anxiously, wanting nothing more than to deliver the news as quickly as possible so they can get to the damn planet.

“Yeah,” Bellamy agrees, “But we have to talk first.”

Clarke nods in agreement, her stomach flipping in uncertainty. She and Bellamy had avoided their big conversation since he’d come back to Earth. Even in the prison cell and by the fire, she knew they were both holding back. She’d withheld her feelings because of many things and it wasn’t the right time, but now they had a moment to themselves…

“We need a plan,” Bellamy says. “We can’t just tell or wake everyone at once. We need to speak to everyone differently at least, because we know many will be more and less willing than others.”

“Eligus will be fine,” Clarke reminds him, “After all, Eligus Three spent a lifetime trying to plan a way reach the planet, so they’ve got what they wanted now.”

Bellamy nods. “Everyone else though…I’m not sure, Clarke. Wonkru and our friends…what if people don’t want to go?”

“We can’t force them,” Clarke says reasonably and Bellamy hums in agreement. “But Monty spent his lifetime working on this so we could do better and Harper died for us, so I’ll be damned if I sit back and watch it all be for nothing.” Clarke’s hand grapples the wall for a minute, a wave of sadness washing over her thinking of Monty and Harper.

Monty. He’d had Jordan with Harper and dedicated his life to finding them a home and saving the human race from extinction, and Harper had dedicated her life and love to Monty and Jordan, the man she’d rose and sent here to give them a new chance at life. Monty could have been with them, but he wanted to be with Harper if he ever did. Monty had lived out his days in dedication to his wife and child and never had he taken a selfish moment and he never did. It dawned on Clarke:  he’d never see it for himself.

“It won’t be,” Bellamy says fiercely, his own voice cracking. “Once they know about Jordan and hear his story, they won’t want to stay behind. And besides, it was never for nothing. Monty had what he always wanted, at least it was all he talked about on the Ring: peace. He and Harper had a life together – a good one. They both grew old, had their son and now sent Jordan to come to save us and to continue his legacy.”

Clarke smiles. “Monty lives in Jordan.”

Bellamy smiles back sadly. “He does.”

The conversation falters and for another few minutes they both stand in silence. It’s a lot for them to process, shock Clarke thinks won’t wear off anytime soon.

“It’s… a lot,” Clarke begins a few minutes later, “All of this…I hope you’re right about Jordan. I’m still not sure where it leaves everyone.”

“Me either,” Bellamy admits.

“I mean…Madi went into cryo as a commander and Octavia went in as…well, Octavia. I don’t know how Madi is going to feel when she comes out, since there is no need for a commander anymore.”

“Isn’t that a good thing?” Bellamy asks carefully. He’s aware the topic of Madi becoming commander is a sore subject for Clarke still – particularly since he played a huge part in making it happen.

“It could be,” Clarke says, unsure. She looks at Bellamy, her voice wavering slightly. “But Wonkru won’t like it and they might come after her.”

“They won’t. I’ll protect Madi.”

Clarke looks up, sharp. She gazes at Bellamy, and he can see the hesitation and doubt on her face. “Will you?”

“Clarke,” Bellamy sighs, “You know I only did what I had to.”

“You could have come to me,” she insits, backing away from him a little. “We could’ve talked about it.”

“You would have never agreed.”

“No,” she says honestly, “But we could’ve hashed it out.”

“How?” Bellamy asks, frustrated. “Clarke, you did everything even without boundaries to stop Madi taking the flame. I don’t think we’ll ever agree on this, but look at us now. We’re safe, and Madi helped to save many of us and prevent many more deaths and war.”

“And at the expense she’s lost herself,” Clarke snaps bitterly.

“Has she?” Bellamy counters. “I might not agree with all this Grounder-flame-commander shit, but this is what Madi was born for. And she stepped up and took her place in the line of commanders. She wanted to. She’s still _your_ Madi.”

“I know,” Clarke whispers, “She was supposed to do it – I know that now and I love her for all her bravery. But you have to understand why I was upset, Bellamy. She’s all I have.”

“I get why you were upset,” he assures her, trying to neutralise the situation. He’s so tired of them being on different sides that he figures now they both need to let it go, or to just work through their issues. “But I won’t take back what I did. It was the right call at the time, and I stand by that. I’m just sorry it hurt you in the process.”

“I’m sorry, too,” Clarke tells him, wiping the newly-formed tears from her eyes. Fuck this is embarrassing, she thinks. She hadn’t shed a tear in over a hundred years, and now she is because Bellamy fucking Blake gets her like this. “I’m sorry for leaving you in Polis. I shouldn’t have; I fucked up. But Madi was in danger, and I couldn’t let anything happen to her.”

Bellamy nods, understanding. A part of him still resents her slightly for abandoning him, but he gets it. Madi is her child and she’d do anything for her, even if hurts others. But she needs to learn there are other ways to protect her and their friends. He understands her wild protective instinct, because he once had the same one with Octavia. Once. Now it doesn’t even feel like she’s his sister at all, but a stranger who had died when he left for space 131 years ago.

“S’ok,” he murmurs. But it isn’t. It can’t be.

“But it’s not,” Clarke persists.

“No, it’s not,” Bellamy agrees, stepping towards her. “But it has to be.”

Clarke doesn’t respond to that. She knows he’s right. Both of them have done far too many horrible things at this stage to count, including to each other. But they have to sometimes. For the greater good. At least both tell themselves that, because if they don’t, then all of their acts of murder and treason will be in vein if not for anything at all.

“You know I was still angry, until Madi told me something.”

“She did, did she?” Clarke’s heart rate picks up, wary.

“She said you called me on the radio every day for six years,” Bellamy tells her.

Clarke immediately looks away, feeling the automatic flush appear on her skin.  Godammit Bellamy! “Mhmm.”

“She said you spoke to all of us, but me the most,” he continues. And then he looks at her, determined to get those bright blue eyes to meet his own. “And that you really care about me. Do you?”

Clarke scoffs. He has to even ask now? “Of course I care,” she says immediately, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “I always cared, Bellamy. Even when we were separated…I kept you with me.”

“So why didn’t you tell me?” he asks, folding his arms. He’s not mad per say…he’s confused. Confused why she didn’t tell him that night by the fire when he’d asked her how she survived. They could’ve resolved things earlier if she had told him. Maybe he would’ve understood what she went through if she had.

“It wasn’t the time,” Clarke says vaguely. She’s deflecting, she knows. She hoped secretly it wouldn’t come up. She knew Madi knew since she heard Clarke every damn morning talking to the silent other end of the radio. She was young at the time, but Clarke knew her daughter was perceptive, and she also surrounded most of her stories around Bellamy.

“There’s a never a right time, Clarke,” Bellamy tells her, sounding funny. She’s not sure what it is she can sense in his voice, but it seems regretful. She regrets it, too. All the moments left unfinished between them, all the sentences left where they were dancing on the precipice of something new…

“I know,” she sighs. “I wanted to. I really did. But everything changed. You had your new family, we were in the early stages of war and it felt wrong.”

“That doesn’t matter,” he protests. “Yeah, spacekru are my family and we developed a close bond in space and they always will be. But you? Clarke, you’re _everything_ to me.”

Clarke freezes. Her heart speeds up in reaction and suddenly she feels like she can’t breathe. It feels like a storybook moment – a moment from one of those fairy tale stories her father read to her as a girl. She doesn’t want to make assumptions, but the way he says the words, filled with conviction and promise makes her believe him. Bellamy Blake is a passionate individual, after all.

Clarke looks at him, keeping her mask on. She feels exposed and vulnerable now, which is a feeling she is used to feeling around him. It just doesn’t feel ideal now, considering they’ve left too much unsaid for over a century. “That can’t be true, because you said I wasn’t a part of your family, once,” she reminds him quietly. She doesn’t want to delve back into old wounds, but it had to be said. When he’d said that to her, it had broken her inside and confirmed to her she was an official outsider. She’d still interacted with Raven and Murphy, but at those few dinners they’d had together by the fire, she could never pipe up in their conversations and engage with their banter, because she hadn’t been there to witness it all or to feel what they were feeling.

“Clarke,” Bellamy murmurs. He reaches swiftly for her hand, not allowing her to opt out. Of course her hand flexes and tingles under his touch like it’s her knee-jerk reaction. “You have to know that’s not what I meant. At the time I just meant they’re my family and I had to rescue them. You were _never_ not a part of my family, Clarke. If anything, you’re more. They all mean a hell of a lot to me, yeah, but not in the same way you do. Fuck, Clarke, you’re my best friend, you’re my partner and you’re my person.”

Clarke falters at the words, because she’s always known they were true. She’d expressed her admiration for Bellamy Blake a number of ways over the years they’d known each other, but never as explicitly as he just did. But she knows he knows she needs to hear it – she needs the reassurance that they are in fact on the same side and that she agrees she’s his person, too. But she’s not, also. Not in the way she wants to be.

“You’re my best friend, too,” Clarke says with a sad smile. “But you already have a person, Bell.”

Bellamy sighs. He had prayed the topic of Echo wouldn’t come up, but he figures she was going to find out sooner or later. She had broken up with just before she went into cryo. She had told him she loved him. They’d argued. She’d told him she didn’t understand how he forgave her so quickly, and Bellamy said there was a number of reasons. She had accused him of having feelings for Clarke, and Bellamy had yelled and said Clarke had sacrificed everything for all of them, so she had no right to talk about her like that. Echo backed off, saying she wished she could like Clarke like everyone did and that she felt indebted to her, but she could _never_ like her, because Clarke held the key to the one thing Echo never had: Bellamy’s heart.

It sounded too cheesy and metaphoric to say aloud, but she was completely right. Echo was a spy so she knew how to read people and she got good at reading Bellamy. She and Bellamy parted on somewhat amicable terms, though Bellamy never denied nor admitted to Echo he had feelings for Clarke. Feelings that lingered and had now risen like volcanic ash after an eruption after years and years of distance between them.

“We broke up,” Bellamy tells her, looking at her to gauge her reaction. He notices she nods, looking uncharacteristically sympathetic towards a situation that involves someone he assumes she otherwise hates. She lays a hesitant hand on his arm, and the touch burns through him despite the thick layer of his jacket between them.

“Oh,” Clarke says stupidly, mentally chastising herself for sounding so dumb. “I’m sorry. Are you ok?”

Bellamy nods. “The strange thing is, yeah. I actually am, It was a long time coming, I think. Ever since we returned to the ground things felt different. And they were.”

“Well, there was a war to deal with. Then there was Octavia, and Eligus, and—”

“No, Clarke.” He cuts her off abruptly, which ends her ramble. She’s looking at him intently now, ocean blue searching for chocolate brown to find something or anything to understand what he means.

“That’s not it.” A hand rubs at his neck unconsciously; a habit Clarke notes he does when he’s nervous. “I mean, they all played a part but there was one big reason why we broke up, and we both knew what it was: you.”

Clarke’s stomach lurches uncomfortably. So she was the reason for their breakup? Immediately guilt settles in the pit of her stomach. She had meant what she’d said: Echo seemed good for him. She might not have approved, but she made Bellamy happy and Bellamy deserved that. He deserved someone who could love him and did love him without limits.

“Bellamy, I—”

He holds a hand up to stop her. “Shh. Please let me explain.” He looks at her pleadingly, and her single nod urges him to go on.

“She told me I was too invested in you,” he tells her. His voice is serious, scarily so, so Clarke hangs onto his every word. He lets out an awkward laugh. “And the funny thing is, I couldn’t even fucking deny it. Because it’s true.”

A small gasp makes it way out of her mouth. “B-”

“Ever since we landed on Earth and Madi told me you were alive, everything’s turned upside down. I made it back to you and all I wanted and tried to do was to get back to us again – to Clarke and Bellamy – but fuck, I didn’t know how. Then I found out about Madi  and your radio calls and then we were on opposite sides, and suddenly there was no time to think about all of it, but fuck, I did. I realised that Echo was a stepping stone. She helped me up there, a lot. We found comfort in each other. It was never love – at least not for me – and I think she always knew that. But I’d convinced myself to try and let you go and move on, so I did. But then when I found you and I saw you again, all that progress and all the thoughts I had pushed away came flooding back. Even right now when I see you standing there all I can think is: it’s you, you’re the one I never want to leave again. You’re the one I want, Clarke. Always have been and you always will be.”

Tears had started cascading down her face now. Clarke couldn’t contain herself. Because finally they’d had their moment and it was all out in the open. Years and years of suppression, war and death had forced them together and apart and led them all to this moment. Because for once they had an actual moment to talk and to clear the air without the awareness of time in their mind or the presence of other people.

“You’re it for me,” Clarke cries as her tears rush. “It’s the same for me. The radio calls…it was so hard for me to tell you, because I felt like I was bearing myself and my soul to you, and it wasn’t right…it wasn’t because you were with Echo. But I called you every day because you gave me hope and I believed that somehow up in that huge sky you were all living and breathing on the Ring just waiting to come down. And now we’re here and we’re going to be the leaders of Monty and Harper’s legacy to make this new planet work, and I just…I want you, Bellamy.” She looks at him sheepishly, wiping the tears from her eyes. “If you do too, that is.”

Bellamy shakes his head fondly, also crying now. “Are you fucking kidding me? I do that whole romantic-ass-Shakespeare-eat-your-heart-out speech and you think I don’t want you? _”_ His hand comes up to stroke her cheek and Clarke laughs happily, closing her eyes at the soothing touch.

“I. Want. You.” He whisper-shouts, and Clarke giggles, her head falling forward to burrow between his neck and shoulder.

They stay like that for what feels like an eternity, but Bellamy counts it as ten minutes. He pulls reluctantly away from her and steps back to put a decent distance between them.

“We have work to do,” he sighs regretfully, gesturing behind him to the window with the blindingly bright planet outside. Clarke actually thinks it’s kind of cute.

“Yeah, no rest for the wicked,” she says wryly, and Bellamy smirks back at her.

“We better get Jordan. You with me?”  


And then she echoes the sentiment Raven said to him all those years ago, but this time she’s not just physically with him but spiritually, too.

“ Together. Always,” she smiles back.


End file.
